Svadhyaya

The intention of my yoga practice today was to observe.  (In sanskrit, the word for the study of the self is svadhyaya.)  I trudged upstairs to practice in the loft.  A huge picture window created a frame, reminding me of a pen and ink drawing that I did in 9th grade.  It still hangs on my dad’s wall to this day. 

I struggled to simply observe vs. analyze or judge, and found that once again, I wanted to take the easy way through my practice…the obligatory downward facing dogs, high lunges, standing balance poses.  I felt the effects of the two day long splurge of Thanksgiving.  I think the dressing and leftover turkey tetrazzini went straight to my rear end…had a harder time getting it off of the ground in Bakasana. 

I have been trying to become more dedicated to my meditation practice lately.  Throughout my practice today, I would sit in meditation.  I noticed that the energy behind my eyes was relentless.  All of my attempts to sit in silence and witness my breath were stopped short.  It was as if I had just pumped the caffeine of 2 pots of coffee into my third eye…just felt jolty and spastic.  Trying to calm down the sensation, I placed my hands on my eyes.  Tried to breath the energy down into the base of the pelvis.  Tried to just stay.  Nothing worked…so I was back to the asana.  More hip openers, some arm balances. 

Throughout my study this morning, I contemplated the reason I practice the physical asanas.  It sometimes seems so funny that as yoga practitioners, we attempt to twist, hold and mold ourselves into these very unnatural positions in order to reach a place of bliss.  I do it in order to gain perspective.  By watching myself on the mat, I deepen my understanding of the experience of my body.  I have a greater understanding of how I work and move and feel.  It is a time that I give myself to just be with myself, and sometimes think out or work out all of life’s questions.   

Back to meditation…This is definately the most challenging asana in my practice!  My intention is to be with the challenge, without trying to analyze (like I always seem to do).  It makes sense that sticking with one style of meditation instead of jumping from thing to thing might be my answer.  In the past, I have tried so many different styles and flavors of meditation, that instead of the clarity that I so long for, my head seems to be spinning from the overwhelming plate of options.  It’s like standing in Baskin Robbins and being bombarded with 31 or more flavors…”What do I choose????”  I always come back to mint chocolate chip.  It reminds me of days of standing above the ice rink at the mall, watching the skaters below.  My mom, brother and I would all get mint choc chip and just sit.  And lick the minty green ice cream from our cones, and just zone out, becoming absorbed in the act of just sitting… and being… and watching.  All was well.  Huh…sounds like meditation! ***(see below, ice cream meditation)

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Asana Practice:  Self Study Intention

•  Lunges with thigh stretch at wall    •  Variations of High Lunge, forearms to floor

•  Ardha Chandrasana at wall (emphasis Organic Energy), backbend variation

•  Standing Baby cradle variations (to side)  •  Bakasana (Crow Pose…hug in!!!)

•  Vishmavitrasana (pinnacle pose)

•  Supine hip openers (baby cradle and figure 4 with straight leg stretch)

•  Padmasana

•  Meditation:  Witnessing the breath, moving energy from behind the eyes downward (apana vayu)

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Ice Cream Meditation (when you are really in the mood for ice cream!)

Stand at the counter of your very favorite ice cream store.  Notice how you feel.  Observe the colors of the ice cream in front of you.  What colors draw your palate in?  Review the memories of certain tastes of ice cream experiences in the past…vanilla…coffee…rocky road….orange sherbert…What does my palate want to taste today?

After choosing your most perfect selection of ice cream, hold it before you and notice the color of the ice cream, the smell of the ice cream.   Give thanks for the opportunity to have the experience of your senses.  Give thanks for all of the individual and universal forces that made it possible for you to have the experience of the ice cream. 

Finally, (if it has not melted into a big sopping puddle at your feet by now), taste the ice cream.  Close your eyes.  Receive memories that this experience brings to you.  Go within, deeper than the memories to the thread that is common within you…into the true essence of yourself that is sat chit ananda.  The essence is always there, find it through the vehicle of the ice cream.  What a great dharana!

The Virgin Voyage

So, I am a newbie at all of this (computer stuff)…have no idea of what I am doing, but have been inspired by some fellow Anusara Yoga teachers to take a giant sized Hanuman leap into the world of cyberspace.  I love to journal, I love to think, I love to reflect, and hope to become inspired to write more and share of this knowledge with students, friends and many more cyber-junkies around the world.  Wish me well, here we go!