You are currently browsing the daily archive for December 1st, 2007.
The beat draws her into life’s pulse,
feeling the earth beneath her feet,
the dance begins.
She wants to feel the sky.
She dances in a circle of women.
She dances to celebrate
She dances to purge
She dances to heal
She dances for the joy of the dance.
It’s her spirit that truly dances,
her body follows the lead.
The dance goes on. It always does.
Glistening sweat of past moments and fears are replaced by
ecstasy.
She feels the sky.
August 2007, Seaside Yoga Retreat in Valle Crucis, NC
I recall
a delicate chant.
The whisper through
her smooth eternity.
An elaborate symphony of dreams,
delirious moments of worship.
I see the language of the goddess,
singing essential love music
as crushing aches of a girl
swim into the sun,
asking for life.
The raw light of a woman
shines from true want.
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This poem is dedicated to all women who are healing.
I wrote this poem with magnetic poetry. A little known (ok, maybe more than a little known) fact about me: I love refrigerator magnets. So, my first refrigerator poem came after a four day healing workshop where I was a student. We were in a circle of about 35 students and 2 main teachers, some musicians, drummers, etc, etc… It was an amazing experience of healing for me personally, as I set my intention for the session to be open to receive my authentic self.
The first day, I noticed a young girl beside me, Shannon. I sensed a deep sadness within this 23 year old. Her struggle was palpable. Later that day, my friend, Liz confirmed that Shannon works with overcoming some depression issues. Don’t we all, I think.
The second day, we were beckoned outside by the brilliant Carolina blue sky, white fluffy clouds and the winds that were some of the strongest I have felt, outside of a hurricane. (Maybe this was in part due to the fact that I was not that grounded at that moment). Even so, strong winds are very auspicious!
In the circle outside, we danced and sang in celebration of life. This circle of such diverse people experiencing such immense joy. I will never forget the joy I felt through the cells of my being.
The music quieted a bit, and I noticed that I was once again standing beside Shannon. She was wrapped in a blanket with her head dropped. I could see how hard it was for her to just be there in the circle, with so many people laughing, dancing, jumping, celebrating. I could feel her sadness once again. I felt it in a way that I did not take it in, but instead held her now in my oversized heart. I had the extra room. I wanted to wrap her in my arms in a big hug, but thought she would probably freak out if I did that.
The third day of the healing workshop was a continuation of meditation, chakra opening, chanting and breathing. Towards the middle of the day, the group was on its feet, singing and clapping, when I noticed the teacher approach me. “OH NO!” My mind yelped! I felt he was coming towards me for some reason. For 3 days, I have tried to sit back, and not step into the circle for any reason (often times, if you are in the circle, you are receiving some type of healing). I don’t like to bring attention to myself in these types of events. I usually do my healing work privately, not for 35 pairs of eyes to witness. I am usually a very private person, so when I felt the teacher come over to me, I sort of started freaking out a little. It was like trying to not have your name called in french class because you didn’t know how to conjugate the verb into future form.
Too late! The next thing I know I am in the middle of the circle, the djembe sounding, the rest of the group singing and clapping, and the teacher is holding my wrists, saying, “Just relax your arms”. My shoulders dropped, and the teacher crossed my forearms in front of my heart, kind of like two jump ropes playing double dutch. My arms wildly fly into the air to the beat of the chant and the drum, and I am dancing.
I love to dance. I grew up dancing as a child, and sometimes still to this day, close the blinds in my house, light candles, turn on the music and dance! So, in this circle, I close my eyes, hold my hands to god and dance. I feel as though I am riding on a beautiful current of grace, and I open my eyes. I see the teacher, John, stooped down in front of Shannon.
In a direct path with my dance, is Shannon and John. I am at the opposite side of the circle from them. I am dancing for Shannon. I looked up to the skylight, and saw the glimpse of god (or maybe the goddess) pouring through the glass pane. It’s as if this light of the sun was streming through the window, into me, as I was holding a space for Shannon’s healing. It was the hardest dance I have ever danced, and definately the one that I will never forget.
In reflection, the healing was not just for Shannon. It was also for me. It reminded me of the web in which we are all connected. When one of my sisters heals, I heal. When I step into my highest potential, I create space for others to also be in their light.
I saw Shannon just the other night at a meditation session. She kind of introduced herself to me again in the offchance that I would have forgotten her name. (I used to do the same thing when I thought that people wouldn’t remember me.) She told me that she had changed her major from Nursing to Portuguese, and wants to study abroad. I could tell that she was in the space of her heart. She seemed lighter, more confident, happier.
What a difference a year and a dance makes!
November 24, 2007
I woke up today still not feeling so great, but was more inspired to practice because I had this new blog that I am addicted to! It really is so nice to have extra time and space to practice away from home. I love this loft (I call it the yoga loft) in the mountain house, but practicing way up high, I am not used to. It has a different feeling to it, especially the loftiness of the loft.
Today’s intention…niralambaya tejase. The first time I ever sat in a room with hundreds of Anusara yoga students, I almost melted when I experienced the word tejase, the last line in the opening invocation. I had no idea what it meant, but I loved how the word felt. Niralambaya: Without need for external circumstance… Tejase: Radiating brilliance. (my own personal translation)
For the past few days, I have not had good nights’ sleep. Chelsea, my deaf and blind 14 and a 1/2 year old cocker spaniel needed some extra attention constantly, being in an unfamiliar environment. (I am saying this very nicely…she literally barked on the hour from 1:30am till dawn the first night). I am a person who needs sleep, so my lack of it (added to the distress of having an aging dog) was taking a toll on me physically, mentally and emotionally.
Getting to my mat, I just let my body and my instinct take me where I needed to go. Had lots of freedom, and I realized that I was able to push myself a little farther than I normally do, and it feels really good! So, lots of physical realizations today since I got to practice extra long, and didn’t have the weight of our Thanksgiving leftovers pulling me so down.
- Gotta hug in extra hard on my pincha preps still!
- Keep doing the plank holds…hug to the midline with my left forearm A LOT…(this is the one that was broken and is now crooked.)
- Lots of organic extension through the left inside line of shoulder to hand.
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Asana practice: Intention “Niralambaya tejase”
• Lunge variation warm-ups (Inner/Outer spiral emphasis)
• Ardha Chandrasana (floating foot on wall)
• Adho Mukha Svanasana (Downdog) watching L shoulder, elbow, hand (hug into midline)
• Uttitha Hasta Padangusthasana (Extended hand to big toe: Balancing on one leg/extending other leg/ holding outer foot) In. Spiral/Out Spiral and Organic Energy
• Pinchy Mayurasana Hands Extended to wall
• Scorpion (at wall, of course…)
• Thigh Stretches with Ajaneyasana and Pigeon • Hanumanasana (monkey splits)
• Eka Pada Rajakapotasana (Pigeon) with front leg extended
• Urdhva Dhanurasana (Upward facing bow) Eka Pada (One leg) variations
• Uttanasana (standing forward fold) Shins in/Thighs out/Muscle energy
• Meditation (Sukhasana): watching the radiance of the breath
♥ Savasana! Yippee after this one!
______________________
Finding the brilliance all of the time is so hard. It’s a hard, hard practice. I think of all of the people I know who are caring for very sick loved ones, or have limited resources to feed and clothe their families properly. It is hard to find the brilliance in circumstances, but we can see the brilliance in the individual, radiance that shines through even when times get tough.
Check out “Born Into Brothels”, a documentary about children growing up in the brothels of India. The circumstances that the children were born into were unimaginable. At the same time they had nothing, the children also had a sparkle in their eyes that looked so familiar. It was the tejase that I have before witnessed in children in my own backyard, as they play carefree. How could that be? How could children who live in such dire surroundings have such bliss, such tejase? I guess, simply, they choose it. If they can choose such bliss, so can I.
