I have finally made the decision (again) to sell my house.  It only took me about 8 months to sit with the decision to realize that it was the right one.  A huge lesson that I am keeping from the past 7 year cycle of my life is to listen to my inner voice when it screams to me.

Last November, during a session with a spiritual healer, I was faced with the contemplation of letting go of my house in order to make space to move forward in my life.  I had every excuse in the book as to why I could NOT sell my home.  My dog, Chelsea, is buried in the backyard under a crepe myrtle tree.  I have had so many plans to add on to the house and create a healing oasis on the land.  I was going to turn the barn in the back into my own private yoga studio and meditation room.  I was going to…. I was going to …. going to…going to…

So, here I sit right now, 7 years beyond the moment that my house found me when I needed a home.  Grace stepped in and intervened when I was in a mind spin of a different sort.  I was only a few months away from opening my yoga studio.  I already owned a condo, but had to leave when it became overrun with rowdy college students, so instead, I became a landlord, and found a place to rent with my best friend.  As my year’s lease on the apartment came to a close, (along with the friendship), my little cottage on Wisteria Lane came to me, as if by magic. 

I was having lunch with my ex-boyfriend, the Realtor, as he begins to tell me of a house I need to check out.  I promptly remind him that I am unemployed and not in the market to buy a house.  After all, I was about to embark on the biggest undertaking of my life in just a few short months.  He pursueded me to take a look, and we pulled into the driveway of the 1,000 square foot house with a meditation pond in the front yard.  Before I entered the house, I had an overwhelming sensation that I was about to step into my home. 

As we stepped in, I looked past the dog-stained carpet and the navy blue sponge painted walls, and realized that this was my home.  There was never a doubt in my mind.  As we stepped into each room, Darby (the ex), was not too pleased with what he saw, but I could see nothing but potential.  This was my house!  When I stepped into the back yard and took a look at the barn, the workshop, and the fire pit, the deal was sealed!

Luckily, I was able to purchase my house when they were literally loaning money to anyone who could walk through the door, although, I wish I could say that my story was so simple.  In fact, just 3 days before closing, I realized that I should not have actually been given a loan.  There was some little technicality that was prohibiting the closing, (like the fact that I didn’t really have a job or something like that.)  Because I had some paperwork in my hand that assured me that I would be given the loan for my house on Wisteria Lane, I did not back down until my mortgage lender came up with a creative way to get me into my house.  (Did I mention that I knew that this was my house???)

Now, 7 years later, I know that we have shared all that we can.  It is time to move forward.  So, now, I must make choices to let go of things that I have been living with for quite a long time.  I reached into the cupboard yesterday and pulled out my favorite coffee cup.  It is lavendar and has a doughnut shaped handle.  I originally bought it for my old roommate (but never gave it to her because I realized that I liked the coffee cup more than I liked her).  It has been with me through 7 years of Sunday coffees, afternoon coffees, and tea time when I have tried to get rid of coffee.  So, on Saturday morning, as I was taking the mug off of the shelf, I pondered whether or not the mug would make the “KEEP PILE” or go straight to the “YARD SALE PILE”.  I sat for a moment while taking in the scene.  It was actually quite uncomfortable to hold the mug through the small, round hole of a handle.  It didn’t take me long to figure out that I no longer needed my “favorite mug”.  I am making space for a new one.  One that is easier to handle.  I guess I can say the same thing for my life.  I know that some things I will keep because they have always been my “favorites”, but at some point, there will be a letting go. 

It will be interesting for me to discover what I choose to keep.  The question of “What the hell do I do with the Hummels and Madame Alexander Dolls?”  might be a contemplation for another day.