Niralambaya Tejase

November 24, 2007 

I woke up today still not feeling so great, but was more inspired to practice because I had this new blog that I am addicted to!  It really is so nice to have extra time and space to practice away from home.  I love this loft (I call it the yoga loft) in the mountain house, but practicing way up high, I am not used to.  It has a different feeling to it, especially the loftiness of the loft.

Today’s intention…niralambaya tejase.  The first time I ever sat in a room with hundreds of Anusara yoga students, I almost melted when I experienced the word tejase, the last line in the opening invocation.  I had no idea what it meant, but I loved how the word felt.  Niralambaya:   Without need for external circumstance…  Tejase:  Radiating brilliance.  (my own personal translation)

For the past few days, I have not had good nights’ sleep.  Chelsea, my deaf and blind 14 and a 1/2 year old cocker spaniel needed some extra attention constantly, being in an unfamiliar environment.  (I am saying this very nicely…she literally barked on the hour from 1:30am till dawn the first night).  I am a person who needs sleep, so my lack of it (added to the distress of having an aging dog) was taking a toll on me physically, mentally and emotionally. 

Getting to my mat, I just let my body and my instinct take me where I needed to go.  Had lots of freedom, and I realized that I was able to push myself a little farther than I normally do, and it feels really good!  So, lots of physical realizations today since I got to practice extra long, and didn’t have the weight of our Thanksgiving leftovers pulling me so down. 

• Gotta hug in extra hard on my pincha preps still!
• Keep doing the plank holds…hug to the midline with my left forearm A LOT…(this is the one that was broken and is now crooked.)
• Lots of organic extension through the left inside line of shoulder to hand.

_________________________

Asana practice:  Intention “Niralambaya tejase”

•  Lunge variation warm-ups (Inner/Outer spiral emphasis) 

•  Ardha Chandrasana (floating foot on wall)

•  Adho Mukha Svanasana (Downdog) watching L shoulder, elbow, hand (hug into midline)

•  Uttitha Hasta Padangusthasana (Extended hand to big toe:  Balancing on one leg/extending other leg/ holding outer foot)  In. Spiral/Out Spiral and Organic Energy

•  Pinchy Mayurasana Hands Extended to wall

•  Scorpion (at wall, of course…)

•  Thigh Stretches with Ajaneyasana and Pigeon     •  Hanumanasana (monkey splits) 

•  Eka Pada Rajakapotasana (Pigeon) with front leg extended

•  Urdhva Dhanurasana (Upward facing bow) Eka Pada (One leg) variations

•  Uttanasana (standing forward fold) Shins in/Thighs out/Muscle energy

•  Meditation (Sukhasana): watching the radiance of the breath

♥  Savasana!  Yippee after this one!

______________________

Finding the brilliance all of the time is so hard.  It’s a hard, hard practice.  I think of all of the people I know who are caring for very sick loved ones, or have limited resources to feed and clothe their families properly.  It is hard to find the brilliance in circumstances, but we can see the brilliance in the individual, radiance that shines through even when times get tough. 

Check out “Born Into Brothels”, a documentary about children growing up in the brothels of India.  The circumstances that the children were born into were unimaginable.  At the same time they had nothing, the children also had a sparkle in their eyes that looked so familiar.  It was the tejase that I have before witnessed in children in my own backyard, as they play carefree.  How could that be?  How could children who live in such dire surroundings have such bliss, such tejase?  I guess, simply, they choose it.  If they can choose such bliss, so can I.

Svadhyaya

The intention of my yoga practice today was to observe.  (In sanskrit, the word for the study of the self is svadhyaya.)  I trudged upstairs to practice in the loft.  A huge picture window created a frame, reminding me of a pen and ink drawing that I did in 9th grade.  It still hangs on my dad’s wall to this day. 

I struggled to simply observe vs. analyze or judge, and found that once again, I wanted to take the easy way through my practice…the obligatory downward facing dogs, high lunges, standing balance poses.  I felt the effects of the two day long splurge of Thanksgiving.  I think the dressing and leftover turkey tetrazzini went straight to my rear end…had a harder time getting it off of the ground in Bakasana. 

I have been trying to become more dedicated to my meditation practice lately.  Throughout my practice today, I would sit in meditation.  I noticed that the energy behind my eyes was relentless.  All of my attempts to sit in silence and witness my breath were stopped short.  It was as if I had just pumped the caffeine of 2 pots of coffee into my third eye…just felt jolty and spastic.  Trying to calm down the sensation, I placed my hands on my eyes.  Tried to breath the energy down into the base of the pelvis.  Tried to just stay.  Nothing worked…so I was back to the asana.  More hip openers, some arm balances. 

Throughout my study this morning, I contemplated the reason I practice the physical asanas.  It sometimes seems so funny that as yoga practitioners, we attempt to twist, hold and mold ourselves into these very unnatural positions in order to reach a place of bliss.  I do it in order to gain perspective.  By watching myself on the mat, I deepen my understanding of the experience of my body.  I have a greater understanding of how I work and move and feel.  It is a time that I give myself to just be with myself, and sometimes think out or work out all of life’s questions.   

Back to meditation…This is definately the most challenging asana in my practice!  My intention is to be with the challenge, without trying to analyze (like I always seem to do).  It makes sense that sticking with one style of meditation instead of jumping from thing to thing might be my answer.  In the past, I have tried so many different styles and flavors of meditation, that instead of the clarity that I so long for, my head seems to be spinning from the overwhelming plate of options.  It’s like standing in Baskin Robbins and being bombarded with 31 or more flavors…”What do I choose????”  I always come back to mint chocolate chip.  It reminds me of days of standing above the ice rink at the mall, watching the skaters below.  My mom, brother and I would all get mint choc chip and just sit.  And lick the minty green ice cream from our cones, and just zone out, becoming absorbed in the act of just sitting… and being… and watching.  All was well.  Huh…sounds like meditation! ***(see below, ice cream meditation)

_________________________

Asana Practice:  Self Study Intention

•  Lunges with thigh stretch at wall    •  Variations of High Lunge, forearms to floor

•  Ardha Chandrasana at wall (emphasis Organic Energy), backbend variation

•  Standing Baby cradle variations (to side)  •  Bakasana (Crow Pose…hug in!!!)

•  Vishmavitrasana (pinnacle pose)

•  Supine hip openers (baby cradle and figure 4 with straight leg stretch)

•  Padmasana

•  Meditation:  Witnessing the breath, moving energy from behind the eyes downward (apana vayu)

_____________________________

Ice Cream Meditation (when you are really in the mood for ice cream!)

Stand at the counter of your very favorite ice cream store.  Notice how you feel.  Observe the colors of the ice cream in front of you.  What colors draw your palate in?  Review the memories of certain tastes of ice cream experiences in the past…vanilla…coffee…rocky road….orange sherbert…What does my palate want to taste today?

After choosing your most perfect selection of ice cream, hold it before you and notice the color of the ice cream, the smell of the ice cream.   Give thanks for the opportunity to have the experience of your senses.  Give thanks for all of the individual and universal forces that made it possible for you to have the experience of the ice cream. 

Finally, (if it has not melted into a big sopping puddle at your feet by now), taste the ice cream.  Close your eyes.  Receive memories that this experience brings to you.  Go within, deeper than the memories to the thread that is common within you…into the true essence of yourself that is sat chit ananda.  The essence is always there, find it through the vehicle of the ice cream.  What a great dharana!