The New Paradigm

par·a·digm

noun \ˈper-ə-ˌdīm, ˈpa-rə- also -ˌdim\

1

: example, pattern; especially   : an outstandingly clear or typical example or archetype

2

: a philosophical and theoretical framework of a scientific school or discipline within which theories, laws, and generalizations and the experiments performed in support of them are formulated; broadly   : a philosophical or theoretical framework of any kind

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Just before my return to Central America for the solstice of 2012, my friend and teaching colleague, Rebecca Kovacs, calls me in an excited state.

“OK, I’m ready to do this.  Here’s the name:  The Yoga Paradigm.  What do you think?”

“Perfect!”

I had been waiting for the next steps to show themselves.  I felt the old chapter coming to its close: the one where I had been working too hard with ego coming through the door first.  I was ready to retire my old ways of doing and forcing and struggling.

My entrance into the world of business happened when I was a naïve 20-something year old.  At the time, I envisioned a collaborative business partnership where we would share the successes and joys equally and create something that would sustain itself until I was ready for retirement.

Retirement came early for me.  Before the ink was signed on the lease, the partnership that I envisioned was already crumbling around me.  Although I had 3 very capable business partners in the mix, I found myself sitting alone at the negotiation table solely signing my life and my assets as collateral on the lease for our new Yoga studio.  Already, there was a growing pit of dis-ease that I tried to sweep away, because my mind wanted to believe in the support of my partners.

No matter which way we tried to spin it, that gnawing sensation at the signing of the lease was more telling than I initially realized.  In 2010, I finally came to terms that I could not revive the life of a business that was built on such a shoddy foundation.

The next 3 years, I spent in a paradigm that was exhausting, but very familiar.  I just did it alone.  Only 2 weeks after closing the doors of my Yoga studio in Wilmington, NC, I found myself teaching my first 21 day Yoga Teacher Training Immersion.  My years of non-stop work prepped me for the intense teaching schedule, and although it was an exhausting process, it was at the same time exhilarating and a pivotal time of growth in my life.

I finally felt the opportunities to put my practice into reality in a more radical way.  I felt like I was beginning again.

Until that paradigm suddenly no longer fit.

I began yearning collaboration and partnership.  But, I also had in my memory what it was like to be in a partnership that was unsupportive, and I knew that I needed to choose in a more discerning way this time.

Then, I met Rebecca.  At the ice cream shop.

She was one of the new managers of the Costa Rica Yoga Spa.  I had already been cc’ing all of my emails her way (poor girl), and I just knew her as followyourdharma at yahoo.  I pull up to Robin’s Ice Cream in Playa Guiones to say hello to a friend.  He introduced me to Rebecca, and immediately I recognized her.

It took no time for us to realize that we had already been communicating, and she offered to buy me an ice cream and sit for a chat.  Of course, I love her already.

A couple of months later, I return to the Yoga Spa for my next 21 day Yoga Immersion.  Rebecca was there as support staff.  She slipped into many of the early morning classes and breathwork sessions.  Just watching her practice was an inspiration, not only to me, but the students around her.

In the last days of the training, we met in the kitchen on a break.  I remember it vividly.

Rebecca is lying on the bench, hand on her head.  It had been an intense month.  The Yoga Spa is still in the organization phase, which is usually not the forte of a yogi.

“What are you doing here in this role?”  I ask compassionately, trying to understand Rebecca’s perspective.  “You should be teaching.”  I had never actually seen Rebecca teach, but I could tell by her practice and her presence that she could knock it out of the park when she wanted.

“I don’t know,”  was her response.

So, I threw it out there, “you could teach with me.  I am looking to collaborate again.  I’m tired of working solo.”

That March’s conversation were the seeds that finally sprouted in the summer.

Rebecca ventured to Guatemala to teach with me at Lake Atitlan in August of 2012, just before my 39th birthday.  It was the best birthday gift:  I was able to finally exhale and surrender to a greater support.

A little over 3 months later, The Yoga Paradigm was born.  It was the marriage of her practice and mine.  The paradigm is the merging of two traditions and journeys.  Our collaboration’s inception prompted us to explore the concept of our sadhana, practice, and philosophy, and lay the path for a new direction into the new life cycle that we are all navigating ahead:  the path to the center of the heart.

We spent time envisioning, creating, designing, theorizing, and finally, in March of 2013, our first offering of The Yoga Paradigm was presented in our home space at the Costa Rica Yoga Spa.  As Rebecca and I taught together and spent every waking hour in practice, conversation, in presence and support of one another, I knew something was different.

I finally understood what it felt like to be in a relationship with an equal.  I felt the support of knowing that “someone had my back.”  The turning point was for me was the discussion of the heart chakra, and the description of authentic relationship.

As we shared within the group circle that day, my heart recognized that I had been operating from a very old, dysfunctional paradigm of relationship for the majority of my life.  I was ready to surrender and create space for something new.

In these early, defining moments of our offering, I understand now the relationships of my previous life. I have a greater appreciation, knowing that contrast breeds clarity.  And, sometimes, we have to understand what we don’t want in order to understand what we do want and have the capability to create and sustain.

I now know what it feels like to be in right relationship, and I am ready to strengthen all of my relationships from this foundation.  Buckle up for the next adventure!

Join Rebecca and me for an immersion into The Yoga of Authentic Relationships.  Our next Yoga Teacher Training will be held at the Costa Rica Yoga Spa in Nosara, Costa Rica, June 29-July 20, 2013. 

If you can’t make it for the full 21 days, we are happy to support you for a portion of that time.  The space and curriculum allows for your own unique adventure, so even if you have no intentions of becoming a Yoga teacher, join us if you just want to be a better human…that’s enough!